Hands.

It's a terrible and ridiculously liberating to know that you belong no where, with no one.

You are free to go where you want, when you want. You can do whatever you want. There are no hands on you to stop you from going where you want, but there are no hands to hold when you get there. It is as pleasant as it is saddening.

When there is no one else to delve into, no one else to consider and devise, you do it to yourself. Your flaws are lined up on like bottles on a kitchen counter; you have them itemized but aren't sure what to do with them. You have no one to bounce ideas off of.

There is no one to tell you you're right but no one to tell you you're wrong.

I guess it's this that makes me miss being in love with someone. I miss knowing I would lay everything on the line for the person in an instant, I would do anything. I don't feel that way about anyone, anything anymore. My indifference is staggering.

It's liberating but frightening. I feel like I'm driving without my hands on the wheel.

But they're my hands and I can do whatever the hell I want with them. I can hold other people long enough to lift them up, I can wave, or I can cradle my own safe hatred. I can do all these things. One can't work without the other, and I've got two of them, and I'll figure them out sooner or later.

Felms.

• Ted
• Chernobyl Diaries
• Hump Day
• Safety Not Guaranteed
• Moonrise Kingdom
• Jeff, Who Lives At Home
• Thor
• Dark Shadows
• Prometheus 
• 21 Jump Street
• Spiderman
• Avengers
• Captain America
• The Puffy Chair
• Our Idiot Brother

I don't feel like this warrants an explanation at the moment but uh. I've been watching a lot of movies because I feel like I don't watch enough movies. This might turn into a challenge or something. Who knows. I'll keep y'all posted or something who cares.