I was talking to Woods; not about anything in particular besides an individual and a situation surrounding them, and she replied, "It's hard, because you're naturally so friendly," I shrugged, agreed. We hung up. Life went on. Whoopie.
For whatever reason, that line stuck with me. You're naturally so friendly.
Me? Yeah. I guess so. I'm pretty outgoing, thanks to my job and having to approach/strike up conversation with strangers. I'm friendly because I hate mean people. Simple enough?
It's nice to say that and hear it from someone else though, because it wasn't always like that. The majority of my adolescence was spent brooding and hating everyone. Between Miranda and my job I eventually changed, but before those things I was pretty shitty to myself any everyone else.
A friend (who I went to high school with, but we worked together more recently) recalled a time she tried to talk to me in high school and I told her to 'fuck off'. I don't know what's worse; that I did this or I don't remember this. I haven't talked to her recently, but she's all sunshine and lollipops; the fact I told someone so lovely and full to the bursting with light to "fuck off" breaks my heart. It says something about how defensive I was, how terrified I was of everyone else.
I've come a long way, I guess. It's weird to think back on SUPER SAD™Sinclair.
Do I feel nice? Not really. Am I happy? Who is. Does everyone like me? Of course not. But people like being around me and I like being around people. As much self analysis I get lost in, I can come back to that. It's small but I think, sometimes, it's worth coming back to.
I'll leave on another note; a girl I go to school with made the definitive decision she was going to be my best friend because I seem like I'd make a good best friend. Things that make me giddy for 300, Alec.
No comments:
Post a Comment